I told my boyfriend right at the start of our relationship that porn wasn't acceptable to me. I also said that I'd split up with a previous partner because of his use. He had a history of porn use in his previous relationship, but told me he'd got rid of it all (without me asking him). I didn't realise the extent of his use at the time, which seems to be obsessional and linked in with his use of drugs. I've repeatedly found porn on his computer which has prompted massive arguments, me walking out on him and feeling absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, a lot of the stuff he looks up is to do with teenage girls. How am I supposed to feel about that? That I'm not good enough for him because I left my teenage years behind 10 years ago? That he likes to watch women being abused - after all, what woman, let alone an 18 year old, can make a 'choice' about being in the porn industry? Does he like the look of fear in their eyes when they are being coerced into doing things? He calls me a 'good little girl' when I give him a oral sex and wants me to pretend it's my first time (obviously all inspired by porn). Well, I have had enough! I'm fed up of being told I am the one with the problem. What he does undermines our relationship - it makes me feel degraded and used and disrespected. He accuses me of trying to control him, but it is about respect - I expect someone I go out with not to cheat on me, hit me or to use pornography. What makes me even more angry is that he complains about our sex life. Apparently I don't respond well enough to his performance because I don't orgasm from penetration or cunnilingus. How dare he! He tells me that I need to relax more in the bedroom, that being turned on is all in the mind. Too right it is and I feel turned OFF by his porn use. How can I feel intimate, safe and uninhibited with someone who enjoys looking at degrading images?
'Tiny' Tove Jensen!
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Dave
I told my boyfriend right at the start of our relationship that porn wasn't acceptable to me. I also said that I'd split up with a previous partner because of his use. He had a history of porn use in his previous relationship, but told me he'd got rid of it all (without me asking him). I didn't realise the extent of his use at the time, which seems to be obsessional and linked in with his use of drugs. I've repeatedly found porn on his computer which has prompted massive arguments, me walking out on him and feeling absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, a lot of the stuff he looks up is to do with teenage girls. How am I supposed to feel about that? That I'm not good enough for him because I left my teenage years behind 10 years ago? That he likes to watch women being abused - after all, what woman, let alone an 18 year old, can make a 'choice' about being in the porn industry? Does he like the look of fear in their eyes when they are being coerced into doing things? He calls me a 'good little girl' when I give him a oral sex and wants me to pretend it's my first time (obviously all inspired by porn). Well, I have had enough! I'm fed up of being told I am the one with the problem. What he does undermines our relationship - it makes me feel degraded and used and disrespected. He accuses me of trying to control him, but it is about respect - I expect someone I go out with not to cheat on me, hit me or to use pornography. What makes me even more angry is that he complains about our sex life. Apparently I don't respond well enough to his performance because I don't orgasm from penetration or cunnilingus. How dare he! He tells me that I need to relax more in the bedroom, that being turned on is all in the mind. Too right it is and I feel turned OFF by his porn use. How can I feel intimate, safe and uninhibited with someone who enjoys looking at degrading images?
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